Do you know what’s annoying about having a bad experience? That voice in the back of your mind. “Hey remember the time that didn’t work out and was a terrible disaster? You shouldn’t try that again, it’s just going to end the same way.” Your trust level goes down real quick and that wall has gotten even higher.
1. Assuming failure_
People will say you shouldn’t live life to assume things are going to fail. I’ve even said that to people. Why are you thinking so negatively? It suddenly dawned on me looking at my own experience, I found it’s not negativity. It’s about preparing yourself. You’ve seen the same thing play out before. It hasn’t stopped you from trying again but there’s just a delay getting your hopes up. It actually makes success that much greater!
2. Yay… bad experiences_
Is it bad to say that it’s better having these bad experiences? You become numb to those emotional rollercoaster rides. It makes it easier to overcome, so you don’t have to go on those rides anymore! You may come across as heartless but the truth is that you’ve been hurt so many times you just don’t feel it as much anymore. It’s important to feel it, but if I can get out of one situation ok then that would be great. Puffy eyes are the worst!
3. Opening Up_
When we open up to people we are taking a giant step. The trust step. Trusting that those words that flow out of your mouth will not be used as a weapon or be thrown back at you. We all see things differently. Your pain may not be my pain and my pain may not be your pain, but if we are open to see it. We can work together. There are way too many people feeling alone in this world.
You must think I’m stupid. You must think that I’m a fool. I’ve been here before and saw the rainbows and butterflies thinking finally I’m getting somewhere… then BAM! Black Lightning zaps me into reality (I don’t know how he got involved). My point is when you say to yourself. “This is it. This is the person or the thing I can put my all into. And I’m going to be accepted for who I am and not have it thrown back in my face.” It gets thrown and the closed sign goes up.
“And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry.”
5. Saying Hello_
Saying goodbye may become easy, but saying hello becomes much more difficult. They never said life would be easy and there’s no in between. I appreciate the voice in my head and I appreciate those that will continue to try even though that wall may be sky high. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect yourself, considering those past experiences.
I’ve learned it’s fine to be cautious but I’m not going to live on eggshells. There could have been many people in history that remained to live that way and there wouldn’t have been as many changes as there is today. It’s a better feeling knowing that time you took a chance it finally turned out great.
7. The Pain_
The pain makes you stronger.
8. Close To Me_
If you refuse to open up to someone that’s meant to be close to you, there’s a chance you’ll lose them. You may not have such a sad response to that as the last person you was close to hurt you. That’s the reason you don’t want to open up. Those that are meant to protect us, give us the biggest pain. I say tread lightly but don’t close off. Don’t give them the power of letting you miss out on something that can put you back together.
“History never really says goodbye. History says, See you later.” Eduardo Galeano
– Too Good At Goodbyes –