Mental Health is important both personally and openly to others that face it. It’s a topic that can be nervewracking to talk about or may seem embarrassing. Let the conversation start and MAY it continue. I wrote this with mind and heart.
We are not always going to be 100%. There is always going to be something or someone that will tear us down. Disrupt our flow. Make us fall apart. Make us lose ourselves.
We may try and lie to others with a fake smile and say we are okay. I believe we do that to try and fool ourselves too. It doesn’t work because when the moment comes when we’re alone with nothing or no one to distract us, that feeling chases right up to us.
We like to seem fine because we don’t to be seen as weak or a so-called ‘baby’ but we’re not. We feel and there’s nothing wrong with that no matter how old or who we are.
It seems shocking when the person you thought had it all together suddenly breaks down. What do you do? I already know I feel nervous when someone is crying but I know I’m going to stay there. Everyone needs a shoulder. Everyone needs someone. We don’t need to be the best of friends but if your hurting there’s no need to be alone.
We don’t know what happens behind closed doors and sometimes we want particular people to be there for us when we need them. Unfortunately, the person we want may not be there. They may have sadly passed away. They may still be around but we’ve gone our separate ways.
“Hold, Hold on, Hold on to me, ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady, A little unsteady.”
You may be pushed away or have someone disappear. You could be that person. It’s mainly because you feel embarrassed or don’t want to seem like a burden. As much as you know they’re not, you’re not either. Saying you need help a step forward.
When we’re unsteady it can cause a disruption in our lives. It may seem like everything you come across beings to become as unsteady as you are. You can’t do this. You can’t do that. All the negativity takes its toll. This is just another hurdle you ARE going to jump over.
When I can’t hold myself up will you be there? If you can’t hold yourself up will I be there? You best believe it! If me holding you up from afar is enough then know it’s being done because we all need someone too. I’ll hold on as long as you need me to.
“One feels that the past stays the way you left it, whereas the present is in constant movement; it’s unstable all around you.”
– Tom Stoppard
– Unsteady –
Do you know what’s annoying about having a bad experience? That voice in the back of your mind. “Hey remember the time that didn’t work out and was a terrible disaster? You shouldn’t try that again, it’s just going to end the same way.” Your trust level goes down real quick and that wall has gotten even higher.
People will say you shouldn’t live life to assume things are going to fail. I’ve even said that to people. Why are you thinking so negatively? It suddenly dawned on me looking at my own experience, I found it’s not negativity. It’s about preparing yourself. You’ve seen the same thing play out before. It hasn’t stopped you from trying again but there’s just a delay getting your hopes up. It actually makes success that much greater!
Is it bad to say that it’s better having these bad experiences? You become numb to those emotional rollercoaster rides. It makes it easier to overcome, so you don’t have to go on those rides anymore! You may come across as heartless but the truth is that you’ve been hurt so many times you just don’t feel it as much anymore. It’s important to feel it, but if I can get out of one situation ok then that would be great. Puffy eyes are the worst!
When we open up to people we are taking a giant step. The trust step. Trusting that those words that flow out of your mouth will not be used as a weapon or be thrown back at you. We all see things differently. Your pain may not be my pain and my pain may not be your pain, but if we are open to see it. We can work together. There are way too many people feeling alone in this world.
You must think I’m stupid. You must think that I’m a fool. I’ve been here before and saw the rainbows and butterflies thinking finally I’m getting somewhere… then BAM! Black Lightning zaps me into reality (I don’t know how he got involved). My point is when you say to yourself. “This is it. This is the person or the thing I can put my all into. And I’m going to be accepted for who I am and not have it thrown back in my face.” It gets thrown and the closed sign goes up.
“And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry.”
Saying goodbye may become easy, but saying hello becomes much more difficult. They never said life would be easy and there’s no in between. I appreciate the voice in my head and I appreciate those that will continue to try even though that wall may be sky high. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect yourself, considering those past experiences.
I’ve learned it’s fine to be cautious but I’m not going to live on eggshells. There could have been many people in history that remained to live that way and there wouldn’t have been as many changes as there is today. It’s a better feeling knowing that time you took a chance it finally turned out great.
The pain makes you stronger.
If you refuse to open up to someone that’s meant to be close to you, there’s a chance you’ll lose them. You may not have such a sad response to that as the last person you was close to hurt you. That’s the reason you don’t want to open up. Those that are meant to protect us, give us the biggest pain. I say tread lightly but don’t close off. Don’t give them the power of letting you miss out on something that can put you back together.
“History never really says goodbye. History says, See you later.” Eduardo Galeano
– Too Good At Goodbyes –